Today my husband has been home with us exactly one month.
Each day, our routines and relationships are feeling more and more natural instead of full of hesitation and caution.
And then there are moments like today – Valentine’s Day which is also my Birthday – where I feel… guilty…
This morning before breakfast, Seth called the kids into the living room.
I had a pretty good hunch it had something to do with me.
The three of them came bounding out of the living room singing “Haaaaaappy Biiirrrrrthday to yooooou….”
Seth followed behind with a pleased grin on his face. I waited patiently for them to finish their off-key rendition and responded with a demand for birthday kisses and hugs from my favorite children in the whole wide world.
Over bowls of cereal, I opened two lovely cards from my husband. He joked about how difficult it was to find two that were non-electronic or musical. A man of few words, he always picks the most poetic cards.
They usually make me cry.
Under the cards was a parcel wrapped in an tan colored Tshirt (the ones my husband wears every day under his uniform), was a heart-shaped box of chocolate caramel nut clusters. My favorite.
In the midst of so much love and affection from my family, I felt terribly guilty too.
Two months ago, my husband spent his birthday on guard duty.
No children singing off key. No smoochey cards at breakfast. No flirty remarks – Hey hot stuff! Do you work out?
December 1st was the deadline suggested to stop sending mail downrange because of their return.
I didn’t get a box together in time to send for his Birthday or Christmas either.
I felt horrible. Like I had failed him in some way.
So this week, I secretly planned to make two pies to celebrate BOTH our birthdays.
I made a peanut butter pie for me (above) and his favorite chocolate pudding pie (below) with a new twist.
But I never made it to the store to shop for a surprise gift or to buy a special card.
Yet another side effect of sharing a car and poor planning on my part.
So while we were clearing the cereal bowls this morning, he said something that surprised me.
“I feel bad. I don’t have anything big planned for your birthday today. I wanted it to be special for you”
All I could do was hug him and tell him how I was feeling the exact same way.
I think we were both relieved to know we weren’t alone.
Yet another valuable lesson in communication.
So today instead of worrying about what could or might have been if he hadn’t been deployed, we’re celebrating.
Celebrating our children…
the warmth of our home…
and the kind of marriage that isn’t perfect – but is definitely worth fighting for.
…
How are you celebrating the ones you love today?
What is the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever heard?
My husband’s grandfather told us on our wedding day
“Always remember to LOVE happily ever after. It does’t just happen – it’s an act you do over time.”
February 14, 2012 at 2:01 pm
You made PIE!
Especially chocolate pudding pie!
There’s no guilt when you make PIE!
(I’m sighing in relief now too. I didn’t get a Christmas or Anniversary (Dec. 27) package in the mail for David either. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one. See? Even friends need a good lesson in communication.
)
Happy Birthday! I hope today is so special with all your ducks around you.
Are you cooking your favorite dinner? Or going out to eat?
Sidnie recently posted..b. e. d. time
February 14, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Yay Pie!
Happy Birthday (to you both
) and Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you and your family have a terrific day together.
Allie recently posted..Our Love Story
February 14, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Love this.
What a sweet hubby you have.
February 15, 2012 at 6:00 am
I always feel bad for not having creative, amazing care packages when my husband is deployed. Happy Birthday! Reintegration is 99% communication.
Lora recently posted..An Army Wife Valentine’s Day
February 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine’s Day!
I felt bad for not having sent more care packages over all to my husband when he was deployed, but he moved so often that we never had a definite address to get anything to him. I was always afraid that he would think I didn’t care, but I sent him emails and photos everyday to let him know I was thinking of him.
Communication is SO important for reintegration. We are 2 months in and still learning this!
Those pies look amazing!
The New “Normal” recently posted..This Day of Love
February 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Sidnie said it best – you made PIE! Our Valentine’s Day isn’t one we celebrate in the traditional sense, either. It’s no one’s birthdays, but it’s an “anniversary” kind-of. It’s the day my husband left us for Iraq in 2004. Each Valentine’s Day we celebrate, together, with our family, as a celebration that he is HERE and ALIVE and GLORIOUS. I pretty much latch onto that dude as much as I can. And we bake. Ohhhhh how we bake. I fill him with food because I can. And sure, there maybe a balloon or a card or some mushy stuff involved (he got me a necklace in silver because he bought me two for Christmas, one broke and one makes me itch with it’s metal composition), but otherwise? We’re together. And happy. And that’s what counts.
Happy one month Homeversary
Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting recently posted..The Meanest Mother in the World