I’m going to completely level with you.
It’s been really hard to let my husband back into our routine.
Sounds weird right? Let me explain.
The first few days are always a roller coaster ride between euphoric elation to smack in the face reality moments.
The ‘Dishwasher Debacle’ post is one great example of this.
I LOVE that my husband is here to help with normal daily tasks.
I HATE that he does it wrong – er – differently – than I do.
Many times these small simple disagreements can lead to arguments about much bigger things.
After a few days, the stress level starts to increase.
Seth responds to stress by cleaning. (A behavior I have a love/hate relationship with.)
I am starting to feel more and more tired as days go by because I’m not sleeping through the night.
I am thrilled to have my husband home – but I jump out of my skin when he tries to wake me up.
It’s been just over two weeks now and we’re still not communicating very well.
I’m still in the mindset that I need to do things alone.
This is partly because Seth is still getting to know our routine.
He doesn’t know I let William sleep in his batman costume.
He doesn’t know I let Maggie have a sippy cup of milk in the living room at 5am.
He doesn’t know that when the kids get sick at night, I wipe them off,
put them in clean pjs, let them sleep with me in our bed, and clean up the mess in the morning.
It’s just going to take time.
While Seth was away, I had to pick my battles.
And now we have to learn all over again how to parent our children as a team.
This past weekend, we spent some time alone together with our children in daycare.
It was wonderful to just walk around the city of Trier, taking pictures and sampling street vender wares.
I think a whole day of undistracted attention for each other was something we both needed.
In these past two weeks of consciously trying to communicate and problem solve through each little conflict,
How many other spouses feel like they’ve struggled more than their service member during reintegration?
Seth seems to have adapted very well to such a dramatic change.
He is helpful around the house, he is connecting with our kids -
and yet I can’t seem to shake this deployment mindset.
In many ways I feel like the life I’ve created to cope with deployment has been invaded.
I want him here. I want his help.
I want his advice. I want him to lock the door every night before bed.
It’s really really really hard to step back… and let him…
Have you ever felt like this before as a spouse?
How long did you feel like you were in deployment mode after your service member returned from deployment?