Coping with loss and finding a balance

March 6, 2010

I have so many things I want to blog about and not nearly enough time.

I want this blog to be a positive place to share parenting stories of child antics.
I want to share recipes and photos from the adventures in my kitchen.
I want to encourage other bloggers and photographers as I myself learn my way around.

But I also want it to be REAL.

To share moments of what life is really like as an Army Wife.
and how that impacts me as a Wife, a Parent, and simply – as a Person.

Yesterday I attended a Military Memorial Service.
A young man was killed in a car accident last weekend.

I pulled out my black dress and put on my pearls.
I parked my car two blocks away and walked up the street.
I couldn’t help but remember the many times I had walked up this street.

There were too many Memorials during the last deployment.
In fact, a year ago this week, we lost a soldier from the very same unit.

This time I walked up the street by myself -
(many of my friends have already moved and my husband is still away training.)

I sat through the service learning about an honorable young man I had never met.
And yet at the same time I felt like I knew him well.

He had volunteered to serve his country.
He was a soldier. He was a husband. He was a father.
He was part of my military family.

My eyes filled with tears during the “final roll call.”
They spilled a little when I heard the taps.

I spent the rest of my day playing with my children and lost in thought.
Savoring their laughter and taking pictures of their Cheetos covered faces.

Coping with loss is something we all do in different ways – and that is OK.

Attending a Memorial Service gives me a time to grieve and share the burden with others.
I also find myself stopping to savor the time I have with my children.

Being an Army wife has made me painfully aware of life’s mortality.
And in many ways, it has also brought me much closer to God.

I keep a picture of my husband in my Bible to mark Psalm 91.